I started running again in June of 2025. Back then, it was limping through run-walk intervals, my lungs feeling like they’d collapse in on themselves.
Now I’m up to 3-5 mile runs each time I hit the pavement.
On run days, I want to run every day. I love the way I feel, like I can stand taller, like my lungs are so strong, like everything is just wonderful and I have everything I need.
On the days leading up to my run day, I look forward to running. I don’t run that day, but I think it might not be a bad idea. I think, maybe someday I’ll add more run days to my week.
On the morning of my run, I am tired. But I get dressed in my running clothes first thing. I do my normal routine. Then I head out. And I start my Runna app without procrastinating, because pausing could mean I never start. I just start running.
The first mile, there’s a lot of talking myself into it. I coach myself to lift each heavy leg, to find peace in my slow pace, to understand that this sluggish feeling will pass.
And it does! By mile 2, running feels a little more natural. I start listening to my music, feel pumped by it. I become aware of my lungs, how they don’t hurt at all as I run. My lungs are so strong! I’m really proud of this!
As I near the end of my run, there’s a temptation to end early. I start anticipating the final lap, and then the announcement from my app that says I am almost done. My body starts rejecting what we’re doing, and I have to fight through that temptation to stop.
Instead, I lean into the feeling of accomplishment I am also feeling. I just ran X amount of miles. Another day done. I used to not be able to do this, and look at me now – DOING IT.
And when it’s done? I feel like the biggest athlete. I feel like I could do this every single day. The sky has gone from pitch black to morning light, and the cool air feels so good on my sweaty skin. I’m smiling at the end of my run. I can’t help it. I’m just so frickin happy to be alive.
But the best feeling of all is that post-run glow. I enter my house and then I just sit. And when I sit, my body starts to release all of its sweat. I’m drenched in sweat, my face is red, the energy is washing over me. If I could, I’d sit there in my sweat for a good hour, just experiencing how amazing I feel as my body cools down. If I don’t have time to sit, it also feels good to get in the shower and feel the tingle of the hot water hitting my cool skin.
I don’t run fast. Today’s run was 3.75 miles at a pace of 11-12 minutes per mile — and that was a great pace for me. I’m not in this to impress anyone, or to run marathons, or to conquer a 6-minute mile. I started running just to challenge myself, just to see if I could.
And I continue because all these endorphins are addicting.
(Thanks for reading. I know this isn’t book or writing related. I’m not on social media right now, but I still exist. And it’s nice to share a few of my human moments here for anyone who will read them.)