45

Here I am in the early hour of my new year.

I have a lot of positive thoughts about turning 45, but also, omg, 45? There are days I still feel 25 (not my body, but my soulfully). But that’s crazy because my daughter is 25, and also, how the heck did that happen???

But yes, I’m now 45. And I’m totally fine with it. 

This year’s birthday is kind of a trifecta of newness. It’s my new year, it’s a full moon, and it just so happens to be the start of my cycle. Plus, I’m less than two weeks into a new job. So I’m starting fresh in all the ways today. And it’s so fitting because I am looking at how I can re-center myself this year.

In this new year, I want to find balance with living life and also producing books. I no longer want to care about how well they sell or how they are received. I just want to write books like the ones I love to read, to share stories that mean something to me without worrying about how certain people will view them. 

I want to meditate daily, move my body, take the time to enjoy the things that fill my soul, to lean on grace more than anything—for myself and for those around me. 

I want to share my thoughts more, instead of treating them like something to be ashamed of or something no one wants to hear.

I want to let go of rigid beliefs in all things so I can be open to learn.

I want to stop taking everything so seriously.

I want to experience the magic of this extraordinary world, to revel in the air that fills my  lungs, the feel of ocean spray on my skin, the smell of the forest. I want to pause more, listen more, notice more, enjoy more. Love more. 

The biggest thing—I want to shed my fear of what the world thinks of me, and instead believe that I am part of this global energy. I am worthy to be part of it, just as worthy as anyone else. This is my corner of the collective, and I own it. 

Happy new year to me!

P.S. If you’re looking for ways I’m letting go of being serious, this reel I created on Instagram is a perfect example.